Steroid filled, with chicken legs.

 

see on a daily basis, especially living in Australia and near the beach, with a culture that says NO to winter/cold/clothes.. these guys that have insanely huge shoulders and arms, I’m talking HUGE, hulk status. Only to go down into a teeny, tiny waists that looks like they’ve been wearing a corset while working out or taking steroids; and then down into even skinnier chicken like legs that are usually shaved. barf.
This – is not a turn on.

I don’t know if these guys look in the mirror and just see their shoulders and arms and ignore the rest of their body, or whether they really think they can get away with just having big shoulders and arms and girls will just magically not notice the rest of their body as if it invisible. I’m sorry, but you are not Casper. Your entire body is on view, and if you’re going to be putting that much effort into maintaining it, then please concentrate on ALL of it. There could be nothing worse than being with a guy who would crush you with his arms, but be toppling over every 2 seconds because his top half  weighs more than his bottom half. I don’t know how some of these guys walk without falling over.

I know every body has seen these types of guys too, and it’s sad because it comes to a certain point when their head just looks like it’s floating and not even attached to the neck anymore, the neck has disappeared to become just one pulsating bit of muscle, and the rest of their body has transformed into a cloud.

On top of that the fact their legs are usually shaved just ruins it even more. I don’t know why this needs to be done, i know there’s certain parts of a mans body that definitely needs to be manscaped, but i really don’t think legs are in that category. I don’t want to see a guy with huge shoulders/arms, a waist smaller than mine, and legs smoother than mine. No thankyou.

So what this rant is basically saying is, please work on ALL parts of your body, don’t neglect your abs/legs. They have feelings too. Stay off the ‘roids.. and if you really want to impress a woman, you should be working on the best body part anybody has and that is your brain!

get them with your looks and then keep them with your mind.

Rash

x

Locked Up Over Night. (By Choice)

My dad had a pretty wild childhood, growing up with 12 brothers and sisters in Africa, they definitely gave my grandmother a hard time but also some pretty amazingly fun times. I have heard of stories of all of them jumping on her back at the same time while she was sitting on the ground, locking their tutor in the cupboard while they changed the time on the clock. Putting on a ‘home-circus’ style show, albeit not as graceful as cirque de soleil but i’m sure it was something similar, the fact my dads brother chipped his tooth on a pillar inside their house while being swung around is a minor fact. They made their own toys and bikes out of whatever they found, played a variety of different sports and were always causing a rucas. Thankfully the tv and internet wasn’t around or as popular back then so the childhood he was blessed with actually involved other children in real time!

When my dad hit 18, he moved to live in London, to study and make something of himself. As did most of his other brothers and sisters and friends. He tells  me stories of how back in the 60′s and 70′s living in London with dark skin was a big deal. People would come to get his autograph, and stare at him and his 1 or 2 dark skinned friends on the street as if they were from another species. Times were tough but it was also an exciting time filled with freedom and free love. He tells me of how he didn’t have any contact with his mum or dad or family back in Mombasa, for 6 months until one day somebody came and told him quick, come down to the post office, as a fax or letter would have arrived. He spoke to my grandmother on a shitty connection continuously breaking up over the phone after 6 months in this new strange land.

He backpacked through Europe with one of his Arab friends, and as money was tough they often found themselves stranded. The other day he randomly told me and my mum about when him and his Arab friend were stuck in Sweden with no where to stay. They had rocked up not contemplating the fact that the hostels and hotels may be booked, and anything that was available was definitely out of their price range. They didn’t want to sleep on the street so as they walked through the city they came across a police station. In they went, with not a care in the world, only to explain to the police officer, ‘we have no where to stay.. we don’t want to sleep on the street, is there anyway we could stay here?’ The police officer i’m sure was a bit cautious, 2 young dark skinned men waltzing into the station asking to stay the night? Alarm bells i’m sure started ringing. But these were the days before finger printing was used for identity, your shoes and socks were searched and your belt would set off a metal detector. So he said, ‘you can stay here but you’ll have to stay in one of the cells..’ ‘that’s cool’ they said, and in they went!

Each in a seperate cell, with a blanket. They started to get a bit worried. What if the doors don’t open in the morning and they mistake us for actual inmates? – through all this worry, sleep eventually came. In the morning as promised the doors were unlocked and they were let free.

This story made me and my mum laugh so hard, as i can imagine my dad with his long hair and beard, rose coloured glasses and bell bottoms, trekking through Europe, staying in jail cells.
and it also made me realize how this would have NO chance of ever happening again.

I highly suggest no one try this, but if you decide to do so, don’t count on the doors being unlocked in the morning.

Rash

x

Why was she crying?

So a few people have been asking about my previous post, and the one question that keeps popping up is ‘why was she crying? i must know!’

to be completely honest, I’m not sure myself. The post was very sad and I’m sorry to start of blogging again on such a depressing note haha, but i was just writing down what was coming to me, and unfortunately last night that was what was coming to me. So i think i will change it up for this post, because today the sun is shining and i am smiling and it’s a new day.. but if you continue to read, there may be the mystery womans life before that dreadful night in store for you!

Blogging to me is therapeutic, it’s a release for me and sometimes i forget people will actually read and some may get very pissed off, I’ve learnt the hard way with some people reading and getting very frustrated, so i used to censor myself.. but this is in some ways a therapy session for me.. so here i go!

I have been feeling a little lost lately. I’ve always felt like I’m not sure where i belong.

I’m a complete nomad in the sense I’ve been blessed without a doubt to travel the world since i was born, i’ve lived in 4 different countries, gone to school in 3 different countries, speak 2 languages, read and write another, have best friends and family all over the world and have done some unimaginable things that i still have to pinch myself about because sometimes it really does feel like I’m living in a dream. I have no right to feel sorry for myself or complain about the hand life has dealt me, except with this continuous moving around, and never being in one place without leaving for more than a year, it leaves you feeling like you’re not sure where exactly home is. If i get bored (which i can get easily) i have this urge that i just need to leave, and so that is what i do. I hop on a plane and i go.

My body may be here, but my heart is in a million different places.

I rarely speak of this with other people but the few people who do know (and now everyone who reads this post will know) always tell me, Rash that’s such a good thing, you’re welcome wherever you go, you have connections and friends and family everywhere. And it’s true, they are right. I’m fucking lucky.i don’t deny it, But i always wonder where i will end up, or if i’ll ever just end up in one place? maybe I’ll continue to travel til i die, never succumbing to one place and one way of life. they say home is where the heart is, so until i find out where my heart really is, i guess I’ll keep on moving.

Rash x

Running.. running so fast,

heart beating, skin prickling, sweat dripping..

She keeps running. and she’s crying, and her mind is buzzing. Shes cold, its snowing. And her nose is dripping, her fingers are numb. Her toes are burning because they are so cold. There are holes in her shoes, and in her coat. and the snow is getting in and melting and freezing.

she’s crying so much she starts choking.. choking on her own tears, so she stops and doubles over, puts her hands on her knees and breathes in and out so heavily, spluttering everywhere, tears falling down her face and into the snow, just to freeze up and add to the pile.

Her eyes are blood-shot red, and her crying is still so hard she starts coughing. There’s nobody on the street, it’s pitch black only to be lit up with a half dim street light, there’s nobody there to hear her. There’s nobody there to help her. Why is she running? Why is she crying?

Then in the distance, a shadow of a silhouette walking towards her, calling out, ‘ma’am are you okay?’

and she’s moved now, sunk down from her hands on her knees, to be kneeling on the ground now. Her knees sunk deep into the snow, and her elbows upon her knees holding up her face..

and she keeps on crying, softly now, but still with so much emotion that if you heard her you would want to cry as well. There is so much pain inside her..

and then she stops crying, suddenly. She lays down on the snow, and curls into a ball, with her hands clasping her knees and holding them tight to her body.
and the shadow of the person comes closer, and his calling out ‘ma’am, ma’am’ – more urgently now, he is only young, maybe 15. He has bright blue eyes, and his running towards her, he wants to help her. He can hear her.

And he finally reaches her, and he kneels down, and shakes her..and she is cold. And her eyes are closed, and her face is twisted, into the face of someone in so much pain and hurt and heart break that he cannot bear to look at her any longer. and he realizes she has died. Right there on the street, crying.

 

 

The very first song i ever learnt, as a wee 5 year old. With my dad blaring it through the house every day on repeat while we moved into our new home.

An incredible band that’s legacy will continue.

Hey Jude..

 

Previous Post

Love is all you need.

Now don’t get me wrong.. I LOVE shoes. I adore shoes.  I can never go to the mall without coming away with a  new pair of shoes. I can probably walk better in heels than i can in flats, and the fact that i’m miniscule really helps my case because i don’t look like a giant when i wear heels.. I actually just look like a normal sized person. I love little shoe shops that nobody knows about with shoes that nobody else has, i buy shoes when i’m overseas so that when i go home only i have them. I love a bargain and love all my shoes i’ve managed to grab up, especially in New York when i bought heels for 5 dollars and Steve maddens for 20!

 

But these babies right here.. i’m really not sure about.

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain” – Bob Marley.

It really is true that you want things the most when you can’t have them, and this is not always the case just with people. Like the saying you always want what you can’t have, people usually relate this to ex boyfriends or girlfriends or crushes.

For me right now, it’s things back at home in Australia that i have a craving for more than anything, and that are completely out of my reach. I am having the time of my life here in Toronto and i am definitely not ready to go home right now, but there are certain things in Sydney that my body, heart and mind are aching for.

One is my cat Einstien. I would give anything to just hold him for a minute, have him cuddled inside my bed with me with his little face and nose tucked under my chin. Nothing i can write can describe how happy i am when i’m cuddling him. People may find such an obsession with a pet very strange, but until you have a pet for over 16 years that you adore you will never understand it.

Another thing i’m craving desperately is driving! – I love to get in my car and just drive and drive with my music blaring. I miss the freedom of getting up, getting into my car and being able to go anywhere i want and do anything i want. I hate relying on people and being a burden. And i’m not a huge fan of public transport.

I miss my parents so much. We have bond like no other. There’s only me and them, and we are one of the weirdest familys you’ll ever meet. Between the personal jokes and muck around fun me and my mum have that no one gets apart from us, and my dads hilarious humour – nothing can compare.

I miss the ability to go no further than 5 minutes away from wherever i am and be near water.

There’s so many other small things i miss, and i know i’ll have it back soon and then there will be a million things i’ll be missing about Toronto and my time here, so i cannot think about it too much, i have to continue living in the moment like someone told me today. Thats the only way and the best way to live.
Rash x

This weather is confusing me more than i can handle.

The weather all around the world is going nuts, back at home its supposedly raining like crazy and has been the wettest start to Summer since 1940! and here in Toronto all of a sudden it feels like were having a heat wave and the sun is shining after only yesterday being blanketed with white snow!!!

I was so excited it had officially started to snow, i woke up and looked out my window and everything was COVERED. I had no idea when this had happened since the night before it wasn’t even snowing. But it had all happened over night and i felt like a little kid on Christmas morning, knocking on my roomates doors telling them to look outside. All of them not too impressed since most of them are from countries were snow is as common as going to the beach in Aus.

As i walked through the snow that morning though i had to stop myself from hysterically laughing every two seconds thinking i was going to slip. I was alone so it made it even worse, and i had a weird half smile and that creased chin you get when your just about to burst out laughing the whole time so if anybody looked at me they would have thought i was some huge weirdo…

Onto other news. I CANNOT the first semester of my exchange is over. It is honestly insane how fast these last 4 months have gone..
and to think originally i was only planning on staying for one semester and that i would be leaving in a month if i hadn’t extended it scares the shit out of me. I’ve become waaaay too attached to this place and the people here.

Okay i better stop this right now because clearly this blog is a huge procastination tool for me when i should be finishing my final two assignments!

Rash

x